APPLE TREE
In the garden of the old house was a small apple tree. The first autumn that we lived there the apple tree produced a single enormous fruit, as if it had concentrated all its efforts on doing one worthwhile thing. I really admired this about the apple tree since I divide my efforts into many portions and end up with fifty apples so small that they are all core, so to speak. The second autumn that we lived in this house we had acquired two kittens, one of whom had, unbeknown to us, been sharpening her claws on the trunk of the apple tree so that the bark had been stripped all the way around. According to my research on the internet there wasn’t much that I could do to save the apple tree unless I was willing to perform a graft of the bark. I was in theory willing to do this but never got around to it because I was busy doing so many other things. By the time the third autumn arrived our relationship had come to an end and the house was sold. I no longer cared what became of the apple tree, but I loved the kittens, who went to live with him and not with me.
HUMILIATION
I humiliate a man, at his request, by telling him to do specific things that he would be embarrassed for his friends or family to witness. Because I do not know the man, and especially since I am the person who instigates these acts, he needn’t be embarrassed for me to witness him performing them. So, in order for the fantasy to be fulfilled, we have to keep invoking the idea of other people. “Imagine if your mother walked into the room and saw you doing this,” I say, and he uses the monkey covering his eyes emoji.
A TURTLE WHO LIVED IN A WISHING POND
The 25 year old turtle was named Omsin. She ate over 1000 coins, thrown into the pond by visitors. She died after surgery. Her empty intestines sagged and twisted around themselves in an attempt to adjust to the empty space originally occupied by the coins. Omsin meaning ‘Bank’ in Thai.
Classic Eli!